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It's one thing to pledge eternal love as you stand fresh-faced and beaming at your bride on the day of your nuptials; actually living out that promise twenty, thirty, or forty years later can be quite another.

Even the happiest, healthiest marriages require a certain amount of work to stay that way, but what happens when your relationship has you saying, "I think I hate my wife?

The type that leaves you struggling to remember the last time you enjoyed your wife's company, and even has you entertaining thoughts of infidelity or divorce.

Here's the complicated brew of feelings actually at play when you feel like you hate your wife, according to experts, and what to do if you want to save your relationship.

Lisa Marie Bobby , marriage counselor, therapist, and life coach. Bobby says that's especially true for midlife couples who've worked to achieve the conventionally-agreed-upon markers of successful adulthood: Kids, busy careers, and homes that demand regular maintenance.

It's easy to forget that romantic love needs maintenance too, or it withers. It used to be all late weeknight dates and pulse-racing adventures with you two.

These days, fun seems like the furthest thing from your wife's mind, and that leaves you perpetually bored and frustrated.

Bobby points out that many wives resent their husbands because "they often feel frazzled, frustrated, and resentful about the higher level of mental energy and material energy they are expected to devote to their household, career and families.

All of which they feel increasingly cut off from. For those with kids still living at home, parenthood is a round-the-clock responsibility—and studies still show that moms still put in more time than dads, on average.

True as that may be, it's not uncommon for a husband to feel like he's become his wife's last priority. They miss the easy, fun passion their relationship once held.

Arguing in a respectful, productive way can be a positive sign, Bobby says, because it means both spouses still care. Burying resentments, instead of voicing them, can lead to an irreparable distance.

That can lead two spouses living under the same roof to start living separate lives: "They sleep in different beds, have different schedules, don't discuss their inner lives, have different friends, and simply no longer look to each other for much of anything anymore.

Unaddressed depression or anxiety can cause someone to see aspects of their life—including their relationships—in a way that doesn't necessarily reflect reality substance abuse does this too, Bobby adds.

Professional and financial setbacks, along with the understandable stress caused by the latter, can color their perception of their marital health as well.

Cultural expectations based in the concept of men as "hunter-gatherers" have reinforced an idea that equates the ability to provide with bringing value to a partnership or family.

They can get irritable. They hear their partner's requests for something as criticism that they're bad, or not enough.

Then they can even start to view the people closest to them, who are now noticing their lack of energy, engagement, and productivity as the enemy.

In these cases, a person projects perceived shortcomings onto their partner when they actually need to look inward. She recommends planning a solo trip away for least two days, in nature if possible.

God had no idea what happened that night with them stay off if it offends you. I notice you cared a lot more about making "god-bothering MAGAT" noises than addressing the issues posted.

Ignore inquiry and double down on the toddlerlike squalling, that's the way of stupid people. In my world, you'd have the life expectancy of a chocolate coffee pot.

And before you start up with the 'persecuted Christian' routine, you feel the exact same way about everyone who isn't just like you, so shuddit.

I had a great Hanukkah, thanks for asking. The more intelligent among us are more concerned that that God seems to condone wars in Its name and rampaging hypocrisy.

But hey, keep playing that "oh noooo, the fetuses" tune, there's always a mouth-breather or two ready to dance to it.

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I went the the Philippines with my I work in a machine shop and my boss RANDOM I am a 31 yr old male who is in a great I don't love my boyfriend and partner I'm a 28 year old guy, and I've just Once of my side businesses involves I'm now an empty nester.

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